Heal
by Frigonfic
Summary: But Camilla knows, she learned the hard way, that you can't fix everything. You can't heal some wounds. Mrs. Everdeen two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

__Thanks for clicking and hopefully reading!

So I'm back with another one-shot! Well, it's more of a two-shot, since I got a bit carried away with it...oops. But I hope you like it!

This two-shot is about Mrs. Everdeen, and basically her whole backstory; continuing on to the 'challenge' I made myself with writing backstories to the Hunger Games characters. This will take place from the Hunger Games all the way to Mockingjay, though this chapter will be based on her life before she had children.

For story-writing purposes, I gave Mrs. Everdeen and Mr. Everdeen first names. You seriously cannot expect me to just call them Mr. & Mrs. Everdeen the whole entire time. Seriously. So for this story, Mrs. Everdeen's name is Camilla and Mr. Everdeen's name is Sage.

**Disclaimer: Suzanne Collins owns the Hunger Games trilogy and the lullaby that Katniss sings to Rue.**

* * *

_You have to promise me you'll fight through it.  
_**. . . . . . . . . .  
**

How do you fight a sickness when you don't know what it is? How do you diagnose the symptoms if you can barely even think, let alone move? How do you cure yourself when you're numb all over, empty on the inside?

How do you continue living when you've lost the will to live?

But no, this isn't really living. This isn't living at all; not when the days are all mixed into each other, not when there's no sunlight, not when there's no feeling.

She knows this. This is not life.

This is some sort of sick, putrid _purgatory, _and the days on this earth are merely some punishment.

She must have been really terrible in her past life, because all she's done is try to help others.

Camilla Hyland had been learning her whole entire life how to help others. How to treat others, how to care for them, how to keep them alive.

But she was never taught how to keep herself alive.

**.**

They had called her beautiful, and she never believed them. Yes, she had hair as golden as the sun and eyes as blue as the sky to match, but all Camilla thought was attractive about herself was the fact that she was a merchant, from the richer side of District 12.

She never understood why they had a richer and poorer side to District 12 when they were all starving anyways.

But all the boys that chased her, all the boys who smiled and flirted - she knew they only wanted her for her parent's richer background. It was because they were healers, and they had money that not many had to buy food.

And the boys were charming and sweet, yes, but Camilla knew that in time, she would mean nothing to them.

So Camilla ignored the boys and stayed with her girls, because Camilla knew that these girls were her friends, people who she could trust.

Maysilee and Madeline Donner were Camilla's closest friends, and they were never separated from each other. People in the district often said they were triplets; with their golden hair and piercing blue eyes.

Camilla shared everything with the twins. All of her secrets, some of her treats, even her clothes. And the two twins shared with her everything that they had, too. The three girls were inseparable, and what they did, they did together.

Walking down the streets together, buying food at the market. Sitting in class next to each other, eating lunch together. Holding hands tightly as they walked to the Reapings, wearing their pretty dresses, their hair in braids.

But there was one secret, one thing that Camilla kept from Maysilee and Madeline.

The boy from the Seam.

Because how many times has Camilla ranted on and on about the _infuriating _boys from the Seam, with their tanned skin and coal grey eyes, teasing her and following her everywhere she went? How many times have the three of them been victims of their mockery of their background?

Camilla Hyland swore that she would always, _always _dislike those irritating Seam boys.

Oh, but she was only thirteen when she said that. And even though only two years have passed, things have changed so much.

She couldn't tell Maysilee and Madeline that she, Camilla Hyland, the Merchant healer, fell for some dirty Seam boy.

It was her little secret.

**.**

She had just been working, helping out with her parents. They were busy with their own patients when he stumbled in.

"Hey - I'm looking for a healer? I need some help." He asked, stumbling in.

Camilla eyed this boy with judging eyes; his dishevelled brown hair lined with dirt, his bright grey eyes.

And of course, she noticed his tan skin - he was from the Seam.

Didn't he _see _that there was a healer right in front of him? Camilla was wearing her neatly pressed white dress, sitting in the healer's chair - those Seam kids were truly as daft as she thought they were.

"I'm a healer." Camilla snapped. "What do you need?"

Then the boy looked at her, and he smiled a little, his eyes brightening.

What did he think she was - a meal?

"I - uh - fell, trying to - um - chase my friend." The boy hesitated, his eyes never leaving hers.

His stare unnerved her, and she wanted to leave as soon as possible.

But still, she couldn't turn away.

"Any cuts? Scrapes? Bruises?" Camilla sighed, getting up towards the boy. "What injuries?"

The boy sat on the table, with a tablecloth draped over it as a mattress for the patients.

"A few cuts and bruises on my arms and legs. Just some medicine should be fine." The boy grimaced, rolling up the sleeve of his shirt.

Camilla gathered up the materials she figured she'd need - some gauze, some rubbing alcohol.

The Seam boy must have been playing with his Seam friends, she thought. Rowdy, loud children.

However, when Camilla walked over to the boy, she gasped.

It was definitely not just a few cuts and bruises.

There was a large gash on the side of his arm, bleeding heavily. There were multiple bruises on his leg and a cuts riddling his hands.

The boy caught Camilla's shocked look and grinned painfully.

"It was an intense game."

Camilla closed her mouth and bit her lip, glaring up at the boy. She had thought she could have just cleaned out a few scratches, slapped a few bandages on and be rid of this boy in seconds.

But no, those troublesome Seam kids just had to bother her.

Silently, Camilla got to work. She washed the wounds gently with her towel and basin of water. She didn't look up with the boy hissed at the stinging pain, or when he flinched. She wouldn't give in to those captivating grey eyes again.

Carefully, Camilla applied a salve onto his large gash and wrapped gauze around it securely. The boy inhaled sharply as she did, and she noticed his fingers grasping the edge of the table tightly, his knuckles turning white.

Camilla bandaged the cuts and iced the bruises. She cleaned up the boy and ignored the feeling of his eyes on her the whole entire time.

It was only when she was finished did she look up to him again.

"There. All done. All fixed up." She said shortly. "Now, time to go."

"Hold your horses! I know you're eager to get rid of me, but I'm not leaving that easily." The boy smiled, moving his arm gingerly.

Camilla gritted her teeth, curling her fists up into tight balls. Those Seam kids were the worst, always bugging her. What was he going to do now, tease her for having food in her cupboards?

"Thank you." The boy grinned charmingly. "You did a great job."

"You're welcome. Now _leave._" Camilla growled, pushing the boy out the door. He had overextended his stay in her home.

"Whoa, there." The boy was a few years older than her, and much bigger. Camilla couldn't push him away. "My name's Sage. Sage Everdeen. What's your name?"  
"Why do you need to know?"  
"I think I should thank the pretty girl who fixed me up well properly, preferably using her name."

Camilla glared at Sage, and he smiled back at her. He absolutely irritated her with that cool demeanour and easy smile. It was clear though, that he wasn't going to leave until she told him her name.

"I'm Camilla. Camilla Hyland." She gritted. "Now _get out._"

"Thank you for your time, Camilla Hyland. It was a pleasure meeting you." Sage grinned charmingly. "I'll be on my way now."

"You do that."

Sage stepped out of her house, and the second his foot left the threshold, Camilla slammed the door and bolted it shut.

Camilla leaned against the door, trying to get Sage's maddening grey eyes out of her head. Through the closed door, Camilla heard Sage chuckle before walking away.

The tune that he whistled as he walked away stayed in Camilla's head for the rest of the day.

**.**

Camilla always seemed to bump into Sage wherever she went. He would always call out her name, and she would always pointedly ignore him.

Maysilee and Madeline, of course, caught along quickly. The two of them never missed a beat.

"Who's that, Camilla?" Madeline whispered as Sage passed by them, giving Camilla a bright smile.

"Why is he always smiling at you?" Maysilee hissed, looking back again and again to catch sight of Sage again.

"I don't know who he is." Camilla lied. "Just another Seam kid who's hitting on me again, probably."

It was the first time Camilla had ever lied to her friends, and she was nervous, sure that they would see through it in a second and demand to know the truth.

Camilla didn't know if she was relieved or upset that they didn't catch her lie.

"Oh, tell me about it!" Madeline sighed. "Kenden was staring at me again yesterday and..."

Camilla nodded and added in comments here and there as her friends chattered, but her mind was on Sage and the gash on his arm.

**.**

Sage came over to Camilla's home often.

With new bruises, new scrapes, new gashes. Once or twice with a broken bone, and frequent cracked ribs or fractured fingers.

And every single time, Camilla took care of him and healed him back again.

He always tried to talk to her, starting up conversations that she never continued. She only spoke when it was absolutely necessary, but the tenth time Sage came to the door, she couldn't hold her tongue.

"I'm beginning to think you're getting hurt on purpose." Camilla sighed, exasperated.

"Maybe you're just not doing a good enough job." Sage grinned, holding his arm, which was held at an awkward angle.

"Why - how dare you - you -" Camilla sputtered, seething.

"I'm just kidding. You're doing a brilliant job." Sage laughed. "I'm just a clumsy fool."  
Camilla sighed, and opened her door wider. Sage walked in and took his usual spot on her dinner table.

"I'll agree with you on that note." She muttered underneath her breath.

"What is it this time?" She said, louder this time.

"I think I dislocated my shoulder." Sage winced, holding his arm gingerly. "It's not moving right."  
"Anyone with eyes can see that." Camilla snarled. "Now sit still."  
Sage did as he was told, and Camilla did her job.

"And how, by chance, did you dislocate your shoulder?" Camilla growled, carefully repositioning the arm again.

"I was in a fight with one of the boys. Some things just got out - ow, ow, ow, ow!" Sage answered, cut off by Camilla pushing the arm correctly into the socket again.

"I didn't hear any fighting." Camilla stated, dusting her hands and stuffing a herb into Sage's mouth. "Chew."

Sage chewed, and scrunched up his nose in distaste as the taste of the bitter herb filled his mouth.

"It was in the far side of the district. In the Seam." Sage answered, testing out his arm slowly. "Hey, it doesn't hurt anymore!"

"It shouldn't; not after that herb." Camilla washed her hands. "Why don't I believe you?"

"But look, I can move my arm like this...and this like...and like - ow, okay, maybe not like that but -"

"Sage. I know you didn't get into a fight with anybody." Camilla frowned. "You get along perfectly fine with everybody in the Seam."

"So you've actually noticed me!" Sage exclaimed, grey eyes shining in the moonlight.

"Sage, _tell me how you dislocated your shoulder!_" Camilla shrieked, her voice rising to a shout.

Camilla wasn't worried about her parents hearing her - they never paid too much attention to her anyways, besides when they were teaching her how to be a healer - plus, they were at Maysilee and Madeline's house for dinner with the Mayor to discuss some important matters for District 12.

Camilla, though she wouldn't admit it - was worried about Sage. Though he annoyed her to no end, it scared her to have this large seventeen year old come to her doorstep at least once every week with another serious injury.

Sage stared at Camilla with defiant eyes, and Camilla continued to glower at him. Neither broke their stare.

Finally, Sage sighed in defeat.

"You wouldn't believe me if you tried." Sage said.

"Oh - so now you're making assumptions? You Seam kids - " Camilla threw her hands up in the air, only to be interrupted by Sage.

"See? That's it, right there!" Sage hopped off the table, advancing to Camilla. "_You Seam kids _- you wouldn't understand! You _don't _understand!"  
Camilla backed away instinctively. Sage was taller than her by a good head, and was broad. His eyes seemed to be set on fire, and they were alone in the house - nowhere to hide. Sage was a big seventeen year old, and Camilla was just a small, skinny fifteen year old girl.

"Don't think that all of the Seam kids don't know how you Merchant children feel about us - especially you and your twin friends." Sage spit. "You with your new, ironed dress and ribbons in your hair; dinner on your table every day, you -"

Camilla stood a step closer to Sage, standing on the tips of her toes, glaring at him, no longer caring about Sage and his intimidating size.

"My family and I barely _have _anything to eat every day!" Camilla shouted. "So don't think -"

"Don't think _what_?" Sage thundered, but Camilla did not cower. "At least your family _has _food to eat every day!"

Camilla fell silent, the words dying in her throat. The Seam families didn't have anything to eat? She had thought, at least, maybe they'd have some rice or a loaf of bread to share, but never, _never _imagined that they went by each day with nothing but air and water passing their lips.

Immediately, Camilla was ashamed. Ashamed of how Sage walked into her house once every week to see her counter stocked with what she thought was just a meager meal - when really, it was a feast to him.

Camilla was ashamed of all she had thought about the Seam kids for the past fifteen years.

Sage was still looming above her, his grey eyes burning in the bright moonlight.

"I - I'm sorry." Camilla said in a small voice. "I didn't -"

"Know? How could you have known?" Sage sighed, shaking his head. "It's not your fault anyways."

"But this whole entire time I've always been saying things about the Seam families and - " Camilla started, thinking about all the times she complained about missing a meal again, or how the stinky smelly Seam kids were lurking around the market again. How could she have been so _blind, _so selfish, so, so... despicable?

Like the Capitol?

"I'm sorry." Camilla finished lamely. It struck her as funny, how she used to hate the idea of the Seam boys hitting on her, thinking they only liked her for her money. Maybe they just wanted to be friends. Heck, now she would give all the food she had in her pantry now to the whole Seam area.

Camilla felt self-hate, shame, humiliation, and embarrassment for how she had been acting this whole entire time.

"Don't be. It's not your fault." Sage smiles sadly. "And I'm sure you've had your fair share of hunger."

But Camilla knows that the hunger her family feels must be nothing compared to how Sage and his family deals with every single day.

"You might not believe me if I told you how I dislocated my arm," Sage says, breaking the silence, "but I think you'll believe me if I showed it to you."

"Show what?"

"Meet me at the marketplace, where the goats are. Tomorrow, at dawn, if you really want to know."

Before Camilla could open her mouth, Sage was already gone with a wink and a grin, leaving her alone in her empty house.

**.**

Camilla debated not going to meet up with Sage - nobody was out at dawn, anyways - but her curiosity got the best of her. She felt compelled to know how Sage kept on hurting himself so badly - maybe then he'll stop coming over every week.

So at dusk, Camilla threw on Madeline's lavender dress that she borrowed, walked out the door, trying not to feel so guilty.

Sage was already with the goats, throwing tiny pebbles at them, scaring them off.

"So what are you, besides from a terrible fool of a klutz and an animal terrorist?" Camilla asked, bright and clear, hands on her hips.

Sage looked up to see Camilla, looking like a vision of perfection in his eyes - the soft dusk light, her beautiful lavender dress, sky blue eyes, and golden hair.

He smiled.

"I'm a hunter."

**.**

"What are we doing here?" Camilla hissed as they neared the electrical wires. "Hey - don't do that! We'll get in trouble!"

"By who?" Sage grinned. "There's no cameras or Peacekeepers here. Come on!"  
He slipped through a weak link of the fence, and Camilla gasped.

"Oh my gosh! Stop! You can't do that! This is District 12's boundary!" Camilla whispered sharply. "You'll get fried!"

"I won't, and I didn't. That's a weak link, and the Peacekeepers never recharge this old thing anyways."

"How have you not shown up at my door, electrocuted yet?"

"Don't be scared." Sage teased.

Camilla glared defiantly at Sage.

"I'm not doing it."  
"Oh, come on."

"I'm not breaking the law!"

"Don't be afraid." Sage coaxed. "Just slip over this space over here and you'll be done with it!"

"That's it. I'm leaving." Camilla spun on her heel, ready to walk away - but Sage's voice stopped her.

"Don't you want to know how I dislocated my arm?"  
Camilla spun back to face Sage, a devious look in his eyes.

"Come on, it's not that bad."

Camilla sucked in a deep breath of air, glared at Sage one last time, and slipped through the barbed-wire fence, standing next to Sage on the other side. Outside District 12.

"That's my girl." Sage whispered, smiling.

"I'm nobody's girl - and definitely not yours." Camilla growled. "Now show me."

Sage's smile, if possible, got brighter.

"Follow me."

**.**

"What, may I ask, exactly do you do in outside of District 12? Where you could get _killed_?" Camilla hissed, carefully navigating her way around the puddles.

"Almost there, you'll see." Sage said from somewhere ahead, voice muffled. "Ah, here we are."

"There's nothing special about here." Camilla mumbled.

"Oh, but there's something very special - " Sage turned back to Camilla, holding something in his hands, "- about _this_."

Camilla gasped. Sage was holding a large bow, longer than half his height. It was curved elegantly, but ending with a deadly point and strung with a wiry, strong string.

"And of course, this goes with it." Sage grins at Camilla's reaction, swinging the quiver of arrows for her to see.

Camilla stars, awestruck at the bow and arrows. They were made of wood, the arrowhead carved from stone; pointed and deadly.

"But what - how - why -"

"I'm a hunter, remember?" Sage says simply. "I hunt animals and gather plants."

"But - "

Camilla was speechless. She couldn't believe that someone would escape the safety of their district, to venture out into the wilds of the unknown and hunt for food.

But he was hungry. Hungry people did crazy things.

"I'm always hurt because I'm still trying to get the hang of things." Sage chuckles. "Cutting myself making arrowheads, falling out of trees trying to get bird eggs... I've still got a lot to learn."

"But why?"

"Shouldn't you already know the answer to that, Camilla?" Sage's grey eyes bore into her blue ones. "My family is hungry. My three little sisters and my baby brother. Do you honestly think we can live with an empty stomach for months on end?"

Camilla shook her head, still too shocked to speak.

"Being a coal miner only pays so much. And the tesserae only lasts so long, Camilla." Sage turns back to the bow and arrows. "I have to feed my family."

"How many times have you signed up for the tesserae?" Camilla asked quietly, the only words she could get out of her mouth.

Sage stared at her for a few moments before answering.

"Seven."

"But that means your name is in the draw forty-nine times!" Camilla gasped, horrified. "You'll be Reaped for sure!"

"Food is food, Camilla. I can't let my family starve."

Camilla falls silent once more, staring at the soft curve of the boy and the deadly straight points of the arrows. She remembers the hunger she feels when she skips a few meals, and she multiplies it by ten. Camilla imagines having four younger siblings, with no food in the cupboards.

When she opens her eyes once more, Sage is staring at her. Her eyes look...different when she opens them again, he thinks. Beautiful, still, but different.

"Show me how you hunt."

**.**

Sage had always liked Camilla. Admired her from afar, you could say. Even though she was a Merchant girl and he was a Seam boy, he still liked her - they were still people in District 12, and that made anything possible for the two of them.

He liked the way the sun hit her hair perfectly, and the way it falls effortlessly into loose waves. He liked the way her eyes matched the colour of the sky, and how they seemed to see through you. He liked her pale skin and her red lips, and how she walked like she was dancing.

Sage Everdeen liked Camilla Hyland very much.

All the Seam kids knew about her - as that girl who didn't like them very much, but then again, the Seam kids were always separated from the Merchant children, so it wasn't a surprise to Sage that she thought they were poor slobs.

Some things just can't be helped.

But Sage liked that she was a healer. That she helped others, even when she didn't really want to - he had seen that happening through firsthand experience - and that she always seemed to have a cure.

And now Sage told her his biggest secret and his deepest thoughts.

And Camilla wanted to see him hunt.

Sage liked the forest very much, how it glimmered with all the bright colours the Seam didn't have. How the leaves rustled and how the animals skittered about. The forest was beautiful in his eyes, and not only because it provided him food.

Camilla next to him as hunted was like the sun shining brighter, brightening his spirits.

**.**

Camilla watched him, watched as he pulled back the string of the bow and let the arrow fly. Over and over again, rarely missing at all. He caught birds and squirrels, and he put them in a satchel attached to his belt.

Camilla was used to seeing blood, and it didn't disgust her at all. In fact, it fascinated her, the way the arrow arced through the air with grace - deadly grace.

"Watch this." Sage whispered. Camilla nodded, wide-eyed, following his quiet footsteps.

Sage whistled a cheery, bright tune; short but sweet. The forest was silent for a second, and then the birds chirped back the same tune.

_Mockingjays, _Sage mouthed to Camilla.

Sage whistled another tune, and this time, the birds fluttered closer to him, trying to listen to his melody.

Like a deadly big cat, prowling about, Sage notched the bow silently and slowly pointed his arrow to the direction of the birds.

He pursed his lips and whistled one last time, the melody no longer sweet to Camilla - it was haunting, paired by the way Sage stared at the birds.

As soon as Sage finished his whistle, the birds opened their mouths, fluttering their wings excitedly. But before they could let out a chirp, Sage let his arrow fly, skewering two through their throats.

They fell to the forest floor, twitching. Sage picked them up, yanked the arrow out, and bagged the birds.

"Don't look at me so surprised, Camilla." Sage grinned.

"I'm not." Camilla said defiantly.

Sage smiled and continued walking, and Camilla smiled too, though she made sure no one saw it.

She loved the forest.

**.**

Over the next few months, Camilla accompanied Sage to the forest.

She told herself it was so that he wouldn't get hurt and come running back to her house over and over again. But deep down, she knew it wasn't true.

Camilla liked the silence of the forest, the lush green leaves, treading softly through the grass.

And maybe, just _maybe, _Camilla liked Sage, too.

Camilla followed Sage through the forest, finding herbs and plants that she could use, gathering them up in her little basket. She even taught Sage which plants were edible and which weren't.

Sage and Camilla talked in their little expeditions, and this time, Camilla actually answered back. Their conversations were short and rare, since they didn't want to scare away any game, but they both found themselves always eager to return each morning at dawn to the goats, where they would see each other and hunt in the forest again.

They hunted at day and returned just in time for school, no one ever suspecting a thing. Camilla's parents never noticed the extra plants and herbs in the drawers, since Camilla hid them by her bedside for her emergency stock. Madeline and Maysilee never mentioned anything, since they knew nothing about Camilla and her wild side at the forest. Camilla felt a little guilty about not telling them, but she didn't want to let them in on the little secret that only she and Sage knew about.

For months, Camilla and Sage hunted together. Sage taught Camilla how to swim in a lake they found, and Camilla taught Sage which berries were safe and which were poisonous. Camilla climbed up the trees to gather the bird eggs, just so that Sage wouldn't fall down and dislocate his arm again.

And on Camilla's sixteenth birthday, Sage taught Camilla how to use a bow and arrows.

"No, like _this._"

"It _is _like that!"

"No it isn't!" Sage repositioned Camilla's arm. "There you go."

"Now shoot?"

"Now shoot."

Camilla's arrow hit the robin right in its bright red chest, and it fell dead, plopping onto the floor.

Camilla turned and smiled at Sage, eyes shining.

"I did it."

"That's my girl." Sage smiled back at Camilla, his grey eyes proud.

Camilla blushed, and that time, she didn't mind being Sage's girl.

**.**

At the Reapings for the second Quarter Quell, Camilla meets up with Sage in the forest before they are called to the town centre.

"I'm nervous." Camilla confesses, fidgeting with the ribbon in her hair.

"You shouldn't be." Sage smiles, ruffling Camilla's hair. "You won't be Reaped."

Camilla glares at Sage, taking her hair out of the neat braids and redoing them again.

"I'm not worried about me." Camilla says, tying the ribbon again.

Sage turns over and looks at Camilla, his grey eyes shocked and sad at the same time.

"I'm worried about _you_."

**.**

Sage is not Reaped.

But Maysilee Donner, one of Camilla's best friends, is.

She walks up, trembling, and all Camilla can hope for is that Madeline is not Reaped, too.

Stupid Capitol and their Quarter Quell - why did twice the tributes have to be chosen? It wasn't right. It was bad enough, sending two in. Sending four was sheer torture.

Madeline is not Reaped. And neither is Camilla. Even Sage is not Reaped.

But Maysilee; dear, sweet Maysilee is, now forced to fight for her life on television.

Madeline can't contain herself, she feels like she's being ripped in half. And maybe she is - her twin was always a part of her. They were two peas in a pod, practically the same person.

And now, she was going to die.

Madeline and her family say their hysteric goodbyes to Maysilee, and Maysilee can't stand to see her twin and her family like this. She will win. She will come home.

She _has _to come home.

Just before Camilla goes in to say her goodbyes to Maysilee, Sage stops her.

"Here, give her this." Sage drops something into Camilla's hand. "Tell her to keep it as her token."

Camilla only nods, on the brink of tears. Sage wraps his arms around her gingerly, the first time he's ever done so. He can't stand seeing girls cry, especially Camilla - his friend, his confidant, his girl.

"Tell her it'll give her luck. And strength. And happiness, too, I guess, since we could all use a song now and then." Sage whispers into Camilla's blonde hair.

"What is it?" Camilla asks, sniffling. She looks at what Sage gave her for the first time, the tears in her eyes making it hard to see what it is.

"It's a mockingjay pin."

**.**

Maysilee dies.

It's expected, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Madeline screams and screams, and she won't get out of bed. She _can't. _No medication, no pills, no herb will make her move again; all she can do is cry into her pillow - the pillow that she shared with Maysilee.

Camilla visits Madeline, and it's obvious she's not okay. The two are both heartbroken, but Madeline seems to be shattered beyond repair. At the end of the day, every day, Camilla leaves Madeline's bedside, feeling like she lost both of her friends in both hits.

And all of the people say that the infamous golden triplets of District 12 have been shaved down to one single, lone girl. One is dead, and one is paralyzed with grief.

But District 12 has a winner - the second time it's ever happened in the history of the Hunger Games - and it's Haymitch Abernathy.

But no one's really celebrating, because even though he's back and they never come back, they should have never left in the first place. This is wrong; all wrong, wrong, wrong.

Camilla finds that the only happiness she could possibly seek out after losing both of her best friends is seeing Sage in the mornings, hunting in the forest. She gathers plants and fruits, and tries to take her mind off of everything.

Sage sees this, and he knows that Camilla is hurting.

So instead of hunting, one day, Sage leads Camilla to the lake he showed her when he taught her how to swim.

"Are we swimming today?" Camilla asks sadly. "I don't really feel like swimming."

"No, we're not." Sage says, sitting down on the dewy grass. "Today, we're sleeping."

"Sleeping?" Camilla asks, shocked. "But don't you have to hunt for your family?"

"I just didn't sell anything at the Hob yesterday, so it's fine." Sage explains, patting the grass next to him. "And I have some leftover game for you and your family, too."

Camilla sits down.

"Thanks." She says quietly.

Sage lies down on the prickly grass and stares up at the pink-grey sky. Camilla does the same.

"Why are we sleeping?" Camilla asks, turning to meet the coal grey eyes that she's grown to adore.

"Because everything's better in our sleep." Sage answers, smiling faintly. "And things could be a bit better now."

"Yeah." Camilla whispers, and she feels tears rolling down her cheek without her permission.

She's cried enough. She's cried a river, a lake, an ocean. You'd think she'd run out of tears, and she thinks so, too - but unfortunately, she just can't stop.

Sage and Camilla lay there in silence, with the occasional chirp of the birds. Slowly, Camilla finds herself dozing off, her head leaning towards Sage's shoulder.

But no, she stops herself every single time. Camilla doesn't know what Sage and her are.

Friends? No, that doesn't seem right. Allies? That reminds her too much of the Hunger Games. Acquaintances? They were closer than that. Partners? They were past that point, too.

Camilla didn't know what they were, and it frightened her.

Sage senses her unease, and knows just how to cure it.

Softly, Sage begins to sing. A soft, hauntingly enchanting song.

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away_

_A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray_

Camilla finds herself falling asleep, Sage's voice pure magic. All the birds stopped singing, and the world was absolutely silent as Sage sang the lullaby, his voice quiet and soft in her ears.

_Forget your woes and let your troubles lay_

_And when it's morning, they'll wash away_

Camilla marveled at how the world just fell silent for Sage, the peace wondrous, Sage's voice lulling.

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

Camilla's head clears, and everything is bright. The heartbreak of losing her best friends are throbbing painfully in her chest, and the tears are still trickling down her cheek. But in Camilla's heart, she feels something else - something inexplicable, something wonderful - blooming.

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you_


	2. Chapter 2

__Thanks for clicking and hopefully reading!

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

* * *

_Take care of her.  
_**. . . . . . . . . .  
**

Camilla married Sage when she was eighteen, just a few months after the Reapings.

And nobody, nobody saw it coming. Nobody knew of their relationship, and they did not expect a Merchant girl and a Seam boy to fall in love.

Camilla and Sage didn't, either.

Somehow, love had blossomed between the two of them. Through the days of hunting, gathering, swimming, laughing, sharing - they bonded, and they knew more about each other than anyone else. They taught each other new things, and they explored they explored the forests together, seeking an escape.

And they found it. But not in the way they expected.

The found escape in each other.

The way they held each other when they were upset. The way they worked in a diligent, comfortable silence. The way they could splash each other and share a loaf of bread.

Escape was in the way Camilla healed Sage's wounds, and in the way Sage sang, the whole world falling into a hush and stopping to listen.

They hunted, they gathered, they foraged. They learned and they taught and they worked together as a team.

They kept each other alive, with their food and their love.

**.**

Camilla's parents did not approve of this marriage - no, it wasn't a marriage, they eloped.

Camilla's parents had taught her everything - _everything _- they knew, and they gave her a home and clothes and food, and _this _is how she treats them back? By running away with some _Seam boy _to follow a pipe dream.

It was silly and it angered Camilla's parents, because they thought she knew better.

But they knew, that one day, soon, Camilla will see the truth. She will realize that this foolish marriage of hers was nothing but a spur-of-the-moment mistake, and when she comes running back crying, they will be here to accept their Merchant daughter into their arms.

**.**

Camilla moved to a small house in the Seam with Sage. She cooked and cleaned and healed the Seam patients, and a few Merchant patients who knew that Camilla had a healing touch.

But Sage no longer hunted. He hid his bow in a nook in a tree, and started learning how to be a coal miner, to earn money for his family in a way that was not illegal.

However, with some coaxing from his new wife, Sage could be persuaded to go back to the forest and hunt for some game like he used to.

Sage and Camilla lived a happy life - a hungry one, with barely any money - but a happy life, nonetheless. They had each other and they had their love, and they thought that was the best food of all.

And their love proved to be true when they had their first child.

"Let's name her Katniss." Sage smiled at his wife - a new mother. "That was the first plant you told me was edible, remember?"

"Of course I remember." Camilla smiled, holding her new baby girl in her arms. "I'm surprised _you _remembered."

"I'll always remember that day." Sage kissed his wife. "And the many things you taught me."

"Let's hope we can teach little Katniss the same now, won't we?" Camilla passed the baby girl to Sage's arms, and he held her delicately.

"I'm sure we will."

**.**

Their second child comes four years later, when little Katniss is a curious, grey-eyed girl with the same brown hair as her father. The second child, however, was as pale as Camilla, with the same sky blue eyes and fine golden hair.

"Primrose." Camilla whispered, as soon as she saw the little baby girl. "Primrose Everdeen."

"I think I know why you picked that name."

"Go ahead and make your best guess."

"There were primroses by the lake the first time I sang to you, now weren't there?" Sage grinned, tucking a stray piece of hair behind his wife's ear.

"And all the birds stopped to listen." Camilla breathed. "It was the most magical moment in my life."

"And this will be the most magical baby in the world, right up there with Katniss." Sage patted Primrose's head gently. "Now won't you, little Prim?"

"I love you, Camilla." Sage whispered, kissing Camilla's forehead softly.

"And I love you, too, Sage." Camilla smiled, blushing faintly.

"Who would've thought."

**.**

For the next eight years, everything is fine.

Sage gets a job as a coal miner, and he works diligently every day, to come home to two beautiful children and a smiling wife.

Camilla continues healing and takes care of her children, loving them more and more with every passing day.

It's the strange, unexpected couple living in the Seam, but as long as they were in District 12 and as long as there was air to breathe, then their love was possible.

Katniss grows up to be a intelligent, curious child, and Sage teaches her everything he knows about singing, hunting, and foraging. Camilla disapproves about some of the things Sage teaches Katniss, and the two of them always try to find a way to compromise.

Primrose grows to be a beautiful, sweet little girl, and she listens to Camilla when Camilla explains all the fields about healing and medicine. Katniss never could sit still enough to listen; she liked playing out in the forest while Prim liked staying at home.

The family was happy, and though hunger was always a twinge in their stomach, things were okay - because everyone was hungry in District 12, and Sage always made sure they had something to eat every day, no matter how meager their meals world.

But nothing can stay fine for long.

**.**

When Katniss is twelve years old, there is an accident.

At the coal mines.

Where Sage worked.

And Camilla ran and ran, and she didn't stop until she reached the site.

Dusty, rubble and debris everywhere. Dirt and dust floating in the air, and what seemed like all of the Seam standing around the ruined mine, crying and weeping.

"Mom? What's wrong?" Little Katniss asked her, grey eyes wide.

Grey eyes that were identical to Sage's. Was he alright? He had went to work this morning, just like every other morning, with a smile and a kiss.

Camilla tried to reassure herself, telling herself that Sage was fine, that he would come back to her - he had to, didn't he? They kept each other alive.

But Camilla's heart didn't stop pounding, and something that felt a lot like heartache seemed to burn through her chest.

Slowly, a trickle of people - coal miners - began to appear from under the debris and rubble. Camilla's eyes darted frantically to each one of them, looking at their sooty hair, their tanned skin, their grey eyes.

More and more men began to appear from the rubble, but Sage was not one of them; not one of the men that ran up to their wives and hugged them tightly, whispering comforting words in their ears.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" Prim asked, her voice high and sweet.

Camilla didn't even know she was crying, but now she felt the trickle of cool tears down her cheek.

She knew, she _knew _that if Sage wasn't one of the first people to come out of the dust, then he wouldn't be coming out at all. Because she knew Sage, and she knew that he would have fought with everything he had to be the first one to come out, to come back to her. She would have done the same.

"Mom? Mom?" Katniss' increasingly worried voice rang out, but sounding like a buzz in Camilla's ears.

Sage. Sage, who had hunted, who had taught her how to. Who sang songs that made the world stop, that helped her to fall asleep when she had another nightmare about Maysilee and the birds that skewered her throat. Sage, who she healed, and she did with love and care.

Sage, who was gone and who was not coming back.

Numbly, Camilla grabbed her two daughter's hands and pulled them back to their small house, forcing herself to move her feet one step in front of the other, choking from the memories and the dust.

She had to get away. She had to leave the happy couples that were reunited, that were safe.

But as she walked, Sage's happy tune that he whistled that morning before he went to the mines echoed in her mind.

**.**

Sage had always brought Katniss to the forest, even though Camilla didn't want him to. Her little girl should not be tripping over roots and getting stung by bees.

But Sage did anyways, and he always brought back flowers for Camilla, like an apology.

Camilla didn't know what Sage and Katniss did in the forest, though she had a very good suspicion of it. She would have joined them, even, but she had to take care of little Prim and do her job as a healer.

And even though she wasn't a Merchant anymore, and that she lived in the Seam, the healer's blood flowed in her veins. She was born and raised to help others, to take care of them, to fix them again.

She couldn't leave a patient on the table, hurt, to go and relax with her husband and child, no matter how much she wanted to. Her heart wouldn't let her.

But now, all of her desires to return to the forest that she used to love so much were gone.

Everything about the forest reminded her about Sage, and about how he wasn't here anymore. She couldn't sleep; Sage used to sing softly to lull her to sleep. She couldn't eat; didn't Sage work hard to bring them food? She couldn't even more; every step, everything reminding her or Sage.

Camilla knew how to fix things. She knew how to heal broken bones and infected scrapes, and how to heal someone back to life.

But she was never taught how to cure heartache.

So she sat on for days and days, trying to think of a cure, a medicine that would take away this emptiness, this panging in her heart.

It was easy for her to deduce in a few hours that heartbreak was not something you could cure.

It was harder for her to try and continue to move on with that pain of Sage not by her side.

**.**

The mayor of District 12 said that all the men who did not return back to the surface after the mines collapsed must have surely died of lack of oxygen.

There. Sage was dead.

But even though Camilla knew the cold, hard truth in her head, she wouldn't accept it; like a pill that refused to go down. She couldn't accept it.

Sage - her Sage, her husband, her friend - she was his girl, and he couldn't let go of her that easily, could he?

_Would _he?

Camilla sat in her little rickety wooden chair, too numb to move. Too empty to do anything. Too broken to do anything but breathe.

And even that was hard; how can she breathe the air in the world when Sage suffocated to death? It wasn't fair and it wasn't right, and Camilla couldn't breathe easily with that thought in her mind.

Camilla was forced to attend the Reapings, and she was reminded that Katniss - her little baby girl Katniss, who looked so much like Sage - was eligible for the Reapings; she was twelve now.

Camilla was scared, but no - she remembered how frightened she was when Sage told her he had his name in the bowl forty-nine times; she was absolutely terrified.

She still remembered Sage standing in the pen, his hair combed and his shirt pressed, smiling charmingly her way even though it was almost certain he was going to be Reaped.

Prim held on to her mother during the Reaping, even though for the past few days her mother had been nothing but a stone-cold statue sitting her chair. But her mother was still her mother, Prim thought, and if she tried hard enough, she could conjure up the memory of her mother smiling as her father sang.

Katniss stood, shaking in fear - it was not easy, it was never easy for her, and she couldn't stand in this little pen, caging her up, not when her mother was as sensible as the trees around her and her father was crushed underneath the ground.

She couldn't breathe.

But Katniss was not Reaped, and the Everdeen family retreated back to their home, doing what they had been doing for the past week - sitting in hunger, waiting for their father to come back home and fix things again.

**.**

Camilla was hungry - oh, yes, she was hungry. Hunger that shot through her like stabs, but the pangs of heartbreak and emptiness shot through her like Sage's arrows, covering any Hunger.

She was vaguely aware of her two little daughters - didn't Katniss look _just like _Sage? - crying in their little broken-down house. She heard their wails, but they were drowned out by Sage's whistling as he walked to work that day.

"Mom! Don't just sit there! _Do something_!" Katniss screamed at her, shook her, pleaded her - because she was her mother and she was an adult, and she had to feed her family and keep them alive, she _had _to - but Camilla did not respond.

Katniss didn't know that Camilla needed Sage to keep them - to keep _herself _- alive.

So Katniss took things to her own hands, because that was _it _and she wasn't going to stare at her sister's starving eyes and her mother's hollow gaze anymore. She was going to do something - she had to do something.

And Katniss stormed out of the house, and Prim sobbed loudly, and Camilla stared into nothing.

Oh, what a shame it was - the three golden triplets that used to shine so brightly in District 12 reduced to ashes.

One dead, her body decomposing underneath the ground where her light would reach no more souls.

One broken, too deep in grief to move, too broken to be even considered human anymore; simply lying in her bed day after day waiting to be reunited with her twin sister.

And one wasting away, the fragments of the lively girl she used to be already washing away; just a shell, a husk of a woman now, too far gone to be brought back.

**.**

Camilla didn't know what was wrong with her, and it irritated her to no end, like how Sage used to infuriate her every time she saw him.

She was drowning in the memories, drowning in the pain, unable to find shore again. Find reality. Sage was always the one who guided her back again, but he wasn't here now and she was drowning, _dying_.

Camilla had thought she needed Sage to find reality again, but she was wrong.

"Food." Katniss threw the burnt loaves of bread onto the table.

And that was it.

Food. Sweet, delicious food - that was what roused Camilla again. A reminder of the hunger that ate her up on the inside, a reminder of the gaunt look in her daughter's faces.

Camilla looked up to Katniss in shock - how did she find bread? Bread was expensive and they had nothing to sell.

Katniss looked down at her mother with angry eyes, burning with fury. Katniss could still feel the tearstains on her cheeks; the hurt, the pain, the abandonment. How could her mother - her own mother - just disappear like that? To leave her children to die?

Katniss' anger had no end, fuelled on by her hurt.

And perhaps it was the combination of the fire in her daughter's eyes - eyes that were just like Sage's - and the fresh food on the table that got Camilla moving again. She scraped off the burnt sides of the loaves and split the bread carefully, rationing it.

It wasn't until the three of them bit down on the bread that they realized truly how hungry they were.

With food finally in their stomachs and Camilla seeing once again, the Everdeen household was beginning to heal - slowly at first, but it was a start.

**.**

Camilla began to heal. No, not herself - she healed others.

Patients began coming back to their house, and the sight of their wounds and their suffering shook Camilla back to reality again. She had to help them - it was all she knew and it was all she could do.

She fixed the men and citizens back up again, and they thanked her with a smile and a condolence. Camilla healed bones and cuts and scrapes, but she still couldn't heal her shattered heart.

But it was a start, she supposed. It felt good to be doing something again, to be helping out. She realized that this took away that empty gnawing feeling in her chest, and it made her feel something again.

The food in their stomachs certainly did things to improve themselves again.

Camilla disapproved of Katniss hunting - she could still remember the risk she and Sage took; Sage notching his arrow and whistling his tunes - but one sharp glare from Katniss, and Camilla kept her mouth closed.

Camilla knew that she was hurting herself - but most of all, hurting her daughters. And all she ever knew how to do was heal, and this hurt that she was causing ate her up on the inside.

So Camilla didn't charge her patients or reach out to her old friends at the market, and simply cooked Katniss' game and prepared food, being reminded so painfully of Sage each and every time.

But she swallowed the pain like a pill, because she knew that hunting was her daughter's escape, and she wouldn't take that away from her, no matter how much it hurt Camilla.

Besides, Camilla thought, she knew she had to move on.

**.**

Camilla healed, and her little Prim helped her. She helped her heal the injured men that walked through the door, and in many ways, Prim healed Camilla, too.

Katniss hunted, and she provided food to the family.

Camilla reached out to Prim again, a thousand 'I'm sorrys' in the times Camilla would smile faintly at Prim or thank her for helping.

And Prim accepted her apology, because she knew a broken person when she saw one, and she knew how long it took to heal again. It was painful to fix broken bones, and even those took time to heal - internal injuries took much longer, and Prim knew this. And she knew how much her mother hurt, and she knew how sorry she was.

So Prim forgave Camilla, and Camilla was once again healed by Prim.

But Katniss never did forgive Camilla.

Camilla tried, she tried to reach out to her eldest daughter, tried to apologize and tried to let her know how sorry she was.

But everything she did, Katniss didn't want to hear it. She wanted no part with the woman who left them out to starve, wanted not to hear her brittle apologies about how she abandoned them when they needed her the most.

And perhaps Camilla's heart broke all over again whenever Katniss glared at her, and she healed with every one of Prim's bright smiles; breaking and healing over and over again.

She was walking on thin ice, but at least she was standing again.

**.**

Things were fine - or as fine as they could be, anyways - until the year Katniss turned sixteen.

They attended the Reapings, like they always did. Camilla cleaned her children and gave Katniss one of her old dresses - it was Maysilee's and she never remembered to give it back, and she certainly couldn't give it back now.

It broke her to see that dress again, with memories of Maysilee and the candy-pink birds and Sage comforting her. But she laid out that dress for Katniss to wear anyways, and like she did, like she always did for Katniss - she sucked up the pain and tried to pretend like everything was okay.

Camilla braided their hair and she walked with them to the town centre. Her heart beat a little faster and it pounded a little louder like it always did, but the Reapings would be over soon and things would be fine again; the fine that she so carefully put together.

It was Prim's first year, and she was shaking so badly she could barely move. The colours seemed too bright and too dull at the same time, and the musty air made it hard to breathe, and her head was spinning and she was inhaling her fear, thick and strong, with every breath.

And Camilla held her breath when the escort walked over to the girl's bowl, and all she could think about was _not Katniss not Katniss not Katniss _because she was her child and she couldn't lose anything else.

But Katniss is safe, and her name is not drawn.

But Primrose's name is.

Camilla felt herself falling apart all over again - no, not Prim, not her bright smiles, not her shining blue eyes or sweet voice, no, Prim was supposed to help her heal - help her heal her patients and help her heal herself, and no, _no, _she couldn't be Reaped and die, she didn't stand a chance.

Camilla didn't know if things were worse or better when Katniss volunteered.

She was barely holding back tears when Katniss walked up to the stage, Prim screaming as she was carried away.

Katniss, Katniss - she was so brave and bold just like her father, and she had the same fire in her eyes - what was Camilla going to do without her child to rouse her again with a sharp glare? No matter how much it hurt her to do some of the things she did for Katniss, Camilla knew it was only helping herself to face the pain and move on, and no, she couldn't do that without Katniss.

Camilla and Prim burst into the waiting room, and Katniss is as solid and strong as her father when Camilla first saw him, and what is she going to do without her strength?

Katniss comforts Prim and she promises her things that they all don't really believe.

But when Katniss walks up to Camilla, she is as stony as a statue.

Katniss is harsh and sharp with her mother, and she knows she has to be - if she isn't then her mother will only sink into that sinking depression again and she can't - she just _can't _- do that to little Prim. Not again.

Camilla is not taken aback, and she stares back into Katniss' cool grey eyes, ready to hear what her headstrong daughter has to say. And yes, Camilla is holding back tears and she's holding back all the pain, because that's what she did around Katniss and that's what she'll do for the last time she sees her.

Katniss snaps out the words she needs to say to her broken mother, and Camilla absorbs it, taking it to mind. She won't fall apart this time, she won't - she'll stay strong, she'll heal, for Prim, for herself.

And Katniss hugs her mother tightly, and it takes all of Camilla to hold it in, because this is the first sign of affection that Katniss has shown her ever since Sage died. Camilla hugs her back and tries to savor the moment, tries to give what little strength she had to her daughter.

Katniss' words ring out in Camilla's ears, over and over again, even when they are pried away from her. Even when they watch as the car takes her daughter away to the Capitol, even when the train is out of their sight.

_Take care of her take care of her take care of her take care of her take care of her_

And Katniss' words echo in Camilla's ears, Sage's whistling tune accompanying it in a haunting song.

**.**

Camilla musters up all of her strength - she had spent the past four years being weak and she was done with that, she would be strong for Katniss now - and she watches the Games with her youngest daughter.

Gale, Katniss' friend, brings over food every day. Camilla was fond of Gale, how he always treated her with respect and talked to her as if she wasn't broken.

Camilla fixes them up all food, and together, the three of them would watch the Games.

Watch Katniss. Watch the Girl on Fire. Watch him and Peeta Mellark, the male tribute of District 12, announce themselves as the star-crossed lovers.

Camilla and Prim watch the Games, and they seek each other's strength.

Camilla nearly cries when she hears Katniss sing that lullaby to that little girl - Rue, as she dies. That was the same lullaby Sage sang her, the first time she had heard him sing. She had been lying in his arms in a meadow next to a lake, and he had kept her safe and warm.

Camilla is on the verge of breaking when she sees Katniss wearing the mockingjay pin - Sage had given her a mockingjay pin to give to Maysilee, and Maysilee wore it as she died and Sage had carved it out himself, and now they were both dead and gone.

But Camilla holds back the tears, because she has to be strong, and she promised.

It's agonizing, watching them fight and kill and seeing Katniss standing out amidst it all, not belonging in the bloodbath. Prim cries and holds her mother tight, and every night, when Prim is fast asleep, curled up by herself, Camilla allows a few tears to fall down her cheek.

But she holds it together, because it's time for her to be strong.

**.**

Like a miracle from above, both Katniss and Peeta return home to District 12 as victors.

Camilla thinks it's Sage looking out for their eldest daughter.

And Camilla doesn't care about the large new house or the endless supply of food; she wants to hug and hold her eldest daughter tight, because she had thought she was going to lose her all over again, but she's alive and she's _here _and she wants to make up for those four years of weakness.

But Katniss doesn't want her mother's love, she doesn't need it now. Katniss doesn't need Camilla to fix her, because she was never broken - she was strong, strong, strong, and Camilla knows that.

But one day, Camilla will hold Katniss and maybe, just maybe, Katniss will hug her back.

**.**

Camilla is alarmed when she sees President Snow in her house, asking to speak with Katniss - her daughter, her own precious daughter.

And of course, Katniss has to speak with him - he's the President - and Camilla keeps an eye out for him as much as she can, even if it means she has to stand in the same room as him and speak to him without spitting the words out.

She has to hold it in, for Katniss. Hold in the hate and bitterness and anger, and watch out for her, and be strong for her; for Katniss.

Katniss' love with Peeta was nothing but a charade, and these things don't slip Camilla's eyes that easily. She knows what they did to come back home - or rather, what Katniss did, because she can see the love in the boy's eyes that's missing from Katniss' grey irises.

She would know. Sage used to look at her like that.

So while Katniss hunts and stays with Peeta and Haymitch, Camilla stays at their new home with Prim, taking care of her, healing the patients that continue to come.

Camilla knows what they're playing at with the marriage, and she knows what cards Snow is trying to sell. But she keeps her mouth quiet, because no one will listen to her and everyone already knows.

They keep up this act for a year, and Camilla thinks maybe things will be fine once more - they'll learn to deal with this large house and they'll welcome Peeta and Haymitch into their home - but then, Katniss is Reaped for the second time.

**.**

The very first Quarter Quell Camilla saw, one of her best friends died.

And the second Quarter Quell Camilla saw, her daughter may die.

As soon as Snow names what he has in store for this year's Quarter Quell, Camilla knows exactly what will happen. She can't protect Katniss and she can't help her, no, she never really could.

So instead, she only tries to comfort her.

And she tries to be strong. For Katniss. For Prim.

Prim cries and cries, because she doesn't want to lose her sister again - even though she already knows that she already did in a way, after Katniss came back from her Games.

Camilla and Prim watch as Katniss is shipped off to the Capitol once more, and once again, Camilla holds in the madness, the agony, the hurt from the past years of watching the second Quarter Quell, and she stays strong.

**.**

Camilla doesn't know how her life went to this up-side-down mad whirlwind; from knowing exactly what she was going to be, a Merchant healer in District 12 - to the wife of a beautiful Seam boy and the mother of a victor and an almost-tribute.

But Camilla doesn't question what's happened, because she doesn't have time for that. She has to heal others and fix them up again - and that includes her younger daughter, who shakes in her sleep. Camilla has to take care of Prim and give her all the love she can, and stay strong; because she can't afford to be weak anymore.

Again, Camilla and Prim watch the Hunger Games, again with Katniss and Peeta in it. For the second time, they watch as Katniss fights, as she's declared the Girl on Fire, as Peeta twists and spins another tragic tale about the star-crossed lovers.

They're on the edge of their seats, holding onto each other tight, watching as Katniss fights for her life once again.

They're so sure that she's not going to live this time - all the tributes are past victors, and they're so much bigger and stronger and faster and experienced than Katniss; bold, brave Katniss.

But again, Camilla and Prim are shocked when the arena explodes.

Everything that happens after that is a blur.

As soon as the projection flickers to black, there is a pounding outside their door, sounding like a thousand giants trying to come in. Camilla and Prim don't even have time to be shocked or scared of the explosion in the arena.

Gale comes barrelling through the door, and he's yelling frantically, eyes wide.

"Get out! You have to get out!" Gale bellows over the noise, his voice urgent. "Run!"

Neither of them protest, because Gale is their friend and Gale has been taking care of them and they trust Gale with their lives.

Gale leads them to the corner of District 12, where the barbed wire fence was. He has to get them out, he has to get all of them out, but the district is in flames and there's not enough time and he can't move fast enough and he curses the stupid _Capitol _for doing this to him, to his father, to his family, to _everyone._

Camilla almost freezes in dread when she sees the barbed wire fence; the last time she was here, she was with Sage and his arms were around her and she was happy, but now he's gone, gone, gone, and even this fence brings too much memories.

But Camilla made a promise to Katniss - to her daughter, whose fate is still unknown - and she can't freeze up again, no matter how much the pain throbs. She has to be strong and take care of Prim, especially now, when the flames are threatening to engulf them.

"Go!" Gale roars over the fire. "Go to the lake! It's - "

But before Gale can finish his sentence, Camilla is already on the other side of the fence and guiding Prim through the space that Sage showed her so long ago.

"I know where it is!" Camilla shouts, holding Prim tightly, Prim's blue eyes frightened.

"I have to go help the others!" Gale yells, too frantic to be shocked at Camilla's knowledge. "Meet me at the lake!"  
Camilla takes Prim's hand and they run towards the lake as Gale runs to the fire.

Camilla has to fight the memories that threatened to drown him; she hasn't been to the forest in so long and everything reminds her of Sage and how he's gone, but she has to be strong and take care of Prim because she promised Katniss and she has to keep it all together.

Gale fights the fires that threaten to burn him and engulf him; but he has to go back, he has to save the children and the mothers and the fathers and he can't let them burn, too - he can't let that happen. He tries to ignore the burning district - his home, his father's home - because he has to be strong even when no one else is, and he _can't let the Capitol win._

Camilla and Gale are both running, running, running away.

**.**

In District 13, everything is too white.

Camilla and Prim are assigned as nurses, and even though they aren't as involved as they could be, at least they're doing something.

When they see Katniss again, they almost burst into tears. Katniss is alive.

But she's barely hanging on, and Camilla knows that feeling very well. The feeling of living, but having no will to do so.

Camilla has to make sure her daughter stays strong when she's weak, because that's what Katniss did for her, and she can't let her down now.

So Camilla and Prim move to a compartment of their own and rest and heal Katniss back to life again, because that's what they do - heal.

And with some time and with some help, Katniss stands on her two feet again. But her legs are shaky with the knowledge of Peeta at the Capitol, and Camilla is there to support her, because she knows what it feels like to have heartache and even though there's no cure, at least now she knows how to numb the pain.

As Katniss was strong for her, it was now Camilla's turn to be strong for Katniss.

Her daughters are beautiful.

Katniss, the Mockingjay, who soars in the sky and brings hope to the devastated. Prim, the angel, whose smile alone is enough to make a crippled man walk.

Camilla is so, so proud of her daughters. And it doesn't matter that they're in District 13, because as long as they've got each other, then it's possible to be fine once more.

But as usual, nothing can stay fine for long.

**.**

Camilla is there when Peeta tries strangling Katniss, and she is the one who heals him back again. She knows her daughter, and she knows that deep down, Peeta knows her, too.

Camilla remembers the way Peeta looked at Katniss, and she thinks that all Peeta needs is a little reminding.

So Camilla cares for Peeta and heals him again, and she does the best she can. She heals Katniss, too, and once again, she helps Katniss to stand on her two feet.

It's the least she can do.

But Camilla knows, she learned the hard way, that you can't fix everything. You can't heal some wounds.

She was a fool to believe things would be fine in this war, this rebellion, this death.

The bombs fall from parachutes from the sky, and they go off like bright fireworks in the sky.

But it's all red and orange and yellow, and there shouldn't be blood and skin in the fireworks.

Camilla screams; she screams and screams and screams and she can't stop because _her daughter is underneath the bombs._

She runs to the mess of limbs and blood, and she tries to heal little Prim again. But she's past the point of saving, and her beautiful blue eyes that once were so bright are now glassy and empty.

Camilla screams and wails and cries, because this broken body surrounded by blood was her daughter; her beautiful, radiant little girl whose smile fixed her again, whose hands worked miracles. Darling, precious, baby Prim.

Camilla feels herself crumbling all over again, and she hates it. She hates herself. She's not strong anymore, and maybe she never was to start with.

She hates herself, because she broke Katniss' promise. She wasn't strong and she fell to pieces, and she wasn't like Katniss and she wasn't strong like her.

Camilla broke her daughter's promise; her only chance of hope, they one thing Katniss trusted her with.

_Take care of her._

**.**

Camilla knows she's going crazy.

She can't look at Katniss, not into those coal grey eyes that are so much like Sage's, not at the cold, hard stare of Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire, the Mockingjay, her daughter - and know that she failed, that she broke the one promise Katniss trusted her with.

Camilla was a failure and a mess and weak, and she couldn't look into her daughter's eyes, knowing what she couldn't do, what she was too weak for, what she couldn't save.

She couldn't handle that.

And Camilla was a fool to ever think she was strong, because she's only a weakling who is useless in this world. She was a fool to believe that her daughter would ever need her, because Katniss is the strong girl that her father raised, and Camilla is nothing but a broken woman who can heal everything but herself and the things she loves the most.

So Camilla runs, she runs away - isn't that the only thing she can do anymore? She runs to District 4 because she can't stand being in District 12; not with Katniss and her eyes that bore into her skull, or the memories of Sage and her daughter Primrose.

Camilla runs to District 4, and she starts up a hospital there, remembering what it was like the first time she helped a patient after Sage's death, how the emptiness left her for a little while when she was healing others. She hopes that building a hospital will take her mind off things, and it does, for a little while.

Camilla heals, because healing is all she's ever known, all she can do. She heals others and she comes to reality to help others, to fix them again.

But on those empty days when there's nobody to fix, Camilla sits and stares at the ocean, the waves rhythmic; a beat to the horrible melody in her head.

Sage's whistling song before he left for work the day he died.

Primrose's bright smile that said a thousand 'I forgive you'-s.

Katniss' coal grey eyes that look at her with hurt and hate.

Sage's arrow flying gracefully though the air.

Primrose's laughter that was like the sun in their dim, old house.

And Katniss' words, hissed over and over again in her ears.

Camilla is a healer, but she can't heal everything, and she can't heal herself. She can find no cure for the song in her head that drives her insane every day; the words that make her want to jump off a cliff.

She's a healer, but she's sick and mad without a cure, for she was never taught how to heal herself.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

I had been inspired suddenly to write a Mrs. Everdeen one-shot, and I just got a bit carried away, writing about her. I hope you guys enjoyed it! (: I know I tended to repeat a few points much too many times, and I'm sorry about that - it's a really bad habit of mine.

In the books, Katniss often portrayed her mother as a weak woman who changed only when she helped others. But for the most part, Katniss did think her mother was weak and fragile, helpless and useless, almost. And I'll admit, I did think the same for a while, since the books were told through Katniss' point of view and you really got to see her opinion on things, and you believed everything because that was just they way the story was told.

But upon writing this story, I really did grow to love Mrs. Everdeen. She really grew in my eyes, and she did become quite an admirable character; to me, at least. In the end, I thought Katniss was harsh towards her, and she really only did want what was best for her children and tried her best to be strong for them (:

Anyways, sorry for ranting your eyes out. I apologize for that, I don't even know what I'm saying half of that time.

Any questions? Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Feedback? Feel free to leave it as a review!

And if there's a character that you would like to me to write a backstory about, please, please, leave it in a review or leave a private message for me! I take requests and I would love to see what you guys think. I'll be sure to write out any request you have (:

Thank you again!


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